about one year ago, i started my very first clinical rotation. i don't remember my first patient, or even my most recent one, but i do know that this has been the most transformational year of my life. what an opportunity it has been to transcend from the world of studying, books, and powerpoint slides, to the clinical setting, where i enter a room and a patient automatically begins to reveal intimate secrets, hopes, and fears. undressing, performing ridiculous physical exam maneuvers, and answering intrusive questions are only some of the privileges our patients allow us.
when i started this grand adventure, called medical school, i blogged (much more frequently), chronicling my thrill at receiving my white coat , my fatigue at spending 9 hours in class, and my thoughts on the significance of being a doctor. i never imagined what the next few years would bring.
3 years later i am still not cut out to be a proper mormon housewife. 3 years later i cook even less than when i started. 3 years later i'm still as wanderlust as before, desperate to travel and experience new things.
however.
3 years later, i've also learned a lot about myself. 3 years later, i've discovered that working 10, 12, 14, or even 16 hours in a day is possible. 3 years later, i've learned to make the most of my free time. i've taken up surfing, play more tennis than i have since high school, and have learned to golf. 3 years later i've made some incredible church friends and some incredible school friends. i've discovered ethiopian food. i've been to new york city and to london twice. i've walked across the israel-egyptian border. i've seen my baby sister off to medical school and my baby brother off on a mission. 3 years later i've learned to value my family, to share experiences and feelings with my friends, and to better understand what i want out of life.
3 years later, i still have a lot of questions. i've had some incredible experiences with patients. i've caught newly delivered babies and have delivered babies myself. i've seen patients on the cusp of death, and i've delivered diagnoses of new cancer. i've cried with patients, laughed with patients, and shared feelings with patients. i've discovered a love of suturing and vascular surgery. i've learned to love thinking critically about physiology and why our bodies respond the way they do. i've developed a new respect for the human body as a creation and for the diseases which break down and attack it. i've wondered at the utility in fighting diseases that seem insurmountable, and i've marveled at the miracles of medicine.
3 years later, i'm not exactly sure what type of doctor i'm going to be. however, i do know what kind of doctor i want to be. i want to be a good doctor, a caring doctor, a humane doctor. i want to be a doctor like some of my mentors, like dr lee, dr cullen, dr clarke.
3 years later, i was able to understand our student commencement speaker's unconventional message. he says:
"But more importantly, I wish for us lives filled with care, joy and great relationships. Not as an abdication of the responsibility to improve the world, but as a recognition that maybe improving the world begins right there with care, joy and great relationships. I hope you have terrific conversations with patients, mentors and colleagues.
I hope you have enough time with your family, friends and loved ones to enjoy them. And more time, such that you find them boring. And still more time such that you find them annoying. I hope you have great conversations with yourself. But not so loud that other people get scared. I mostly hope you live out the moments and the life for yourself that you will fight so deeply to preserve for others. To the graduates and to this community of Care. I'm humbled by you and your ridiculous good looks. I thank you. I wish you all wonderfully mediocre careers and phenomenal, joyful lives."
3 years later, i've realized that's what i ultimately want. a fulfilling career and a joyful life. i recommend krish's speech to anyone in need of a good laugh and a bit of inspiration. he's someone like whom i aspire to be.
when i started this grand adventure, called medical school, i blogged (much more frequently), chronicling my thrill at receiving my white coat , my fatigue at spending 9 hours in class, and my thoughts on the significance of being a doctor. i never imagined what the next few years would bring.
3 years later i am still not cut out to be a proper mormon housewife. 3 years later i cook even less than when i started. 3 years later i'm still as wanderlust as before, desperate to travel and experience new things.
however.
3 years later, i've also learned a lot about myself. 3 years later, i've discovered that working 10, 12, 14, or even 16 hours in a day is possible. 3 years later, i've learned to make the most of my free time. i've taken up surfing, play more tennis than i have since high school, and have learned to golf. 3 years later i've made some incredible church friends and some incredible school friends. i've discovered ethiopian food. i've been to new york city and to london twice. i've walked across the israel-egyptian border. i've seen my baby sister off to medical school and my baby brother off on a mission. 3 years later i've learned to value my family, to share experiences and feelings with my friends, and to better understand what i want out of life.
3 years later, i still have a lot of questions. i've had some incredible experiences with patients. i've caught newly delivered babies and have delivered babies myself. i've seen patients on the cusp of death, and i've delivered diagnoses of new cancer. i've cried with patients, laughed with patients, and shared feelings with patients. i've discovered a love of suturing and vascular surgery. i've learned to love thinking critically about physiology and why our bodies respond the way they do. i've developed a new respect for the human body as a creation and for the diseases which break down and attack it. i've wondered at the utility in fighting diseases that seem insurmountable, and i've marveled at the miracles of medicine.
3 years later, i'm not exactly sure what type of doctor i'm going to be. however, i do know what kind of doctor i want to be. i want to be a good doctor, a caring doctor, a humane doctor. i want to be a doctor like some of my mentors, like dr lee, dr cullen, dr clarke.
3 years later, i was able to understand our student commencement speaker's unconventional message. he says:
"But more importantly, I wish for us lives filled with care, joy and great relationships. Not as an abdication of the responsibility to improve the world, but as a recognition that maybe improving the world begins right there with care, joy and great relationships. I hope you have terrific conversations with patients, mentors and colleagues.
I hope you have enough time with your family, friends and loved ones to enjoy them. And more time, such that you find them boring. And still more time such that you find them annoying. I hope you have great conversations with yourself. But not so loud that other people get scared. I mostly hope you live out the moments and the life for yourself that you will fight so deeply to preserve for others. To the graduates and to this community of Care. I'm humbled by you and your ridiculous good looks. I thank you. I wish you all wonderfully mediocre careers and phenomenal, joyful lives."
3 years later, i've realized that's what i ultimately want. a fulfilling career and a joyful life. i recommend krish's speech to anyone in need of a good laugh and a bit of inspiration. he's someone like whom i aspire to be.
Katie. I love this post. I can't believe it's already been through three years at Stanford. Incredible. And I love the speech you shared; it had some wisdom that I really needed today!
ReplyDeleteKatie-ji, this brought tears to my eyes. You are a wonderful friend and you are going to be a wonderful doctor. Love you!
ReplyDeleteDear KM,
ReplyDeleteI read this and thought: wow, what a woman she's become! Best post in my opinion. You are amazing and I am proud to call you my friend!